Blame Yourself, You Got It Wrong

Posted: May 24, 2012 in Uncategorized

A few months back I listened to a presentation given by Dr. John Berardi of Precision Nutrition. Even though much of the presentation was about diet and nutrition, I would venture to say the psychological aspect of the doctor (or therapist or coach)/patient relationship was what resonated with me the most.

The lessons:

1) Blame yourself.

2) Own the ones you got wrong.

I know, I’m being a Debbie D

But what does this all really mean??

Quite simply, it’s about taking just as much credit for the people you couldn’t heal/treat/train/understand as the ones who “get it” and get better. I think it is in our nature to remember and discuss our success clients (whether for business or our own ego) and learn from them BUT what about learning just as much from the ones who you couldn’t help?

The truth is that if you are good at what you do (and sometimes even if you aren’t) you will get some people healthy,stronger, out of pain, or skinnier. I think the saying goes, ‘Even the sun shines on a dog’s ass…”

Do we learn from the people we help? You bet.

Should we learn just as much, if not more from the people we couldn’t help? For sure.

You see, it’s easy on our ego to just blame the client.

She didn’t come in consistently .That’s why she didn’t get better.

He wouldn’t do his home care exercises.

He just won’t stop eating pizza.

We could go on like this forever.

What about flipping the switch and owning it?

I didn’t communicate well enough with her. That’s why she didn’t come in consistently.

I didn’t make an immediate change with the in-office rehab exercises. Therefore, he didn’t see the value in doing them on his own.

I didn’t give him  another tasty, healthy options to replace pizza with, so he continues to eat it.

I can tell you first hand, this process is not fun. To be frank, it may drive you nuts for a little while. Since hearing Dr. Berardi’s presentation, I stopped blaming my patients. It’s not their fault anymore. After all, it can’t be our fault they got better yet their fault they didn’t. It just doesn’t work that way. At least if you are true to yourself, it shouldn’t.

I think this ‘mind switch’ is something you all should give a try. See if it makes you better at whatever you do.

Have a great day!

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